“I think the most enjoyable of all races is a steamboat race… two red-hot steamboats raging along, neck and neck, straining every nerve… that is to say, every rivet in the boilers – quaking and straining and groaning stem to stern, spouting white steam from the pipes, pouring black smote from the chimneys, raining down sparks, parting the river into a long streak of hissing foam – this is a sport that makes a body’s liver curl with enjoyment. A horse race is pretty colorless and tame in comparison.”